Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Friends, Enemies or Frenemies?

You know the saying, "keeps your friends close and your enemies closer"..hence the term frenemies. According to there are 3 pages of definitions of this term. One of them is: "An enemy disguised as a friend".

How many of you have frenemies? How many of you are the frenemy? Do you keep "friends" around because you need to know all that is going on? Or you need to get information that only they can get you? Where is the line drawn between friends, enemies and frenemies?

To me, friendship is the third most sacred bond, behind marriage and love of your child. I have friendships that have been a part of my life for almost its entirety. But over the years, I have made enemies and frenemies. When I was in High School, the girlfriend of one of my boyfriends friend transferred into our school. She knew no one but me, my bf and her bf. I took her under my wing, introduced her around school and help her socialize. What happened later was how a friend becomes and enemy and how somehow I was her frenemy.
Her boyfriend had been known around school as a casanova but she didn't know that until she got there. When she started to hear rumors of his ways, she decided he needed to feel her pain. One night, when I was supposed to go out with my plans changed and I stayed home. They went and had a good time. What I didn't know was she would tell them a story about a tryst with my boyfriend. Boy, when that got back to me, it was on! I was her friend! How could she do that to me?! Forget the fact that if it was true, my boyfriend was toast but she was my friend. I trusted her not to break the bond. Long story short, it was all a lie made up to make her boyfriend mad and to hurt him the best way she knew how....making him believe she slept with his best friend! Though it was high school and looking back now it seems so petty back then it was everything. That was the first time in my life that someone had used me as their frenemy. She and I remained acquaintances because she was know a part of my large circle of friends. But I never again allowed her to be that friend. She was an outcast and everyone knew it. But I was a better "woman" than she was back then. I let her keep some social dignity but she would never regain the standard of anyone's true friend.

In the years to follow, I have made new friends, lost friends, made enemies and some frenemies....but with each friend lost, something was gained. If we don't learn from these frenemies, then what is the point of having them. We all serve some purpose in life...even a frenemy!

That's just my two cents...but they count!

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